


I No Longer Believe

by PinkGold



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Carol is just coming home after that wrek they made in nyc, Don't copy to another site, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, videos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 00:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGold/pseuds/PinkGold
Summary: “Hey, hon. It’s day 79 since I last left Earth and there’s still too much destruction going on. Thanos did more damage than I first realized... I wish--”Carol sighed on the video and frowned, with a far away look in her face. Maria’s hand itched to rub the frown off her face, and the fact that she couldn’t let her distressed.“I wish I could go home and lay in bed with you, help Monica with her homework, watch her grow… Maria,” and she looked right into her eyes. Maria’s heart accelerated. “I miss you so much.” Carol squeezed her eyes, holding back what Maria thought were tears.





	I No Longer Believe

**Author's Note:**

> I *sobbs* Love danbeau so much.  
> Hope you enjoy reading this!! It's small, the plot is almost nonexistent but i just needed them to be fine.

“ _Hey, hon. It’s day 79 since I last left Earth and there’s still too much destruction going on. Thanos did more damage than I first realized... I wish--_ ”

Carol sighed on the video and frowned, with a far away look in her face. Maria’s hand itched to rub the frown off her face, and the fact that she couldn’t let her distressed.

“ _I wish I could go home and lay in bed with you, help Monica with her homework, watch her grow… Maria,_ ” and she looked right into her eyes. Maria’s heart accelerated. “ _I miss you so much.”_ Carol squeezed her eyes, holding back what Maria thought were tears.

“I miss you too.” Maria said, even though she knew the recording wouldn’t hear her.

“ _So yeah, I wish I could take you two with me, but it’s too dangerous. Even on a spaceship._ ” Carol kept on saying, recomposing a little more at each word. “ _I gotta go now, see what else I can do around here before moving on again_ .” she snorted “ _I hope you receive this, I wish I had a way of knowing you got these recordings_.

Maria had tried sending one of her own, but even the best radio waves took time to get that far away into the universe, and Carol never seemed to be in the same place for more than a few days, so it was no use.

Next time Carol visited, Maria should definitely ask for an easier way of communication.

She turned off her computer when Carol’s face froze in the video. With a heavy sigh, walked to the kitchen and smiled weakly at Monica drawing at the table.

“What are we eating for dinner?” she asked without taking her eyes off her drawings. Maria noticed, with a pang of grieve, Monica was drawing her missing friends. Ones she lost over the snap.

That day-- gosh, Maria tried not to remember it too frequently. But that day Monica had been playing with a classmate --her name was Olivia-- over the garden while Maria sat with Carol and Olivia’s mother, drinking a cold lemonade and enjoying summer, then they both vanished--

The rest is history.

It had been two years since half the planet became dust, since Carol started overworking herself without any help --not that she would ask for any, Maria scoffed.-- and Monica and herself trying to maintain a normal-ish life.

“What do you think about some pasta?”

“Sounds good.” she picked a green color pencil and begun painting the grass. “I wish mum was here with us.”

There was a pause, the only sound between them of the pencil scratching against the paper.

“I know, sweetheart. Me too.”

\--

“ _Day 323 since I last left Earth_ .” Carol sat roughly on the metal chair of her spaceship, still wearing her uniform, now looking filthy from wherever she had been. But that wasn’t it all. Maria noticed she was looking less and less optimistic. The spark in her eyes leaving her and taking with her some of her will power. “ _I… Maria, I don’t know why I keep doing this. There’s--”_ her voice broker over the video, and something inside Maria broke with it _. “There’s just so much destruction. I can’t- I’m-”_

Carol took a deep shaky breath and looked away.

“ _I just wanna go home._ ” her voice had come out so soft Maria almost didn’t catch it.

“I know.” Maria nodded at the video and closed her eyes, letting a tear fall and roll down. Gosh, Maria wished she could do something to help her wife, but--

There wasn’t anything to do aside from sitting and listening to her voice. Her hurt voice. Her pain.

Maria wished she could take that pain away.

Then,

There was a wooshing sound, almost deafening coming from above. Maria sat up from her chair in the front porch, placed her laptop on it, and looked up, watching as the colorful dot in the sky approached in a quick pace.

From inside the house she heard Monica’s footsteps coming down the staircase hastily, and a second later she was by her side, looking as the blotch of color landed gracefully on the ground and dissipated, leaving only Carol kneeling on the ground.

Carol, who looked more weary than she did on the video, stumbled forward and managed to stand up on her shaky legs.

Maria was running before she knew. Her arms wrapped around Carol’s and helped her wife balance herself while they walked back to the house.

Monica pulled out a chair and they sat Carol on it with only little complain. They took off the helmet --Maria’s heart did that infamous loop it always does since Carol got her new haircut--, and placed it on the coffee table.

“Hi.” Carol’s whisper came out more like a gust of breath than anything else.

“Hi.” Maria smiled. With a quick glance in Monica’s direction, Maria realized she was already doing what she was about to ask: filling a cup of fresh water.

“We won.” she said, and Maria’s head snapped back at her. “I didn’t think it was possible, but we beat Thanos, Maria, all--” she accepted the glass Monica offered her with a thanks and downed the water in one go, “all those people are _back_ , and they are _fine_ and we can finally _rest_.”

Even though her words were joyful, there were no spark in her eyes. Maria glared at her until she gave up.

“Fine,” her shoulders slumped and she reclined further into the chair. “We did win, which is good and all. But there were some casualties.” her fingers were outlining the cup absentmindedly, “I lost some friends… you remember Natasha, right? The red hair that visited from time to time?” Maria and Monica nodded, “Yeah, she’s-- she’s gone.”

They sat in silence, the news echoing over Maria’s head in a choir of grief for their friend.

She hadn’t been close, but Maria still considered her a great friend. She hoped wherever Natasha was right now, that she was finally having the rest she deserved.

“And Tony too.” Carol said, breaking the silence.

“The billionaire? Iron Man?” Monica exclaimed, eyes going wide.

Carol nodded.

“He has a young child…I hope, I hope she grows to be just as genius as her father.”

Without a word, Monica wrapped her arms around Carol on a strong hug, and Carol hid her head on her neck. Maria couldn’t resist it, and joined the hug, kissing Carol’s temple tenderly, wishing all that pain could dissipate.

\--

After a warm meal and an hour on the bathtub, Maria could see Carol returning to herself, as Carol plopped down on the sofa next to her, hair still wet.

“What are you watching?” she asked once she shifted around and found the perfect position with her head resting on Maria’s shoulder.

“Parks and Recreation.”

“Still? Last time I was around you are watching this same show.”

“It has seven seasons, honey.”

Carol shrugged and snuggled closer. She kissed Maria’s cheeks until she turned her head and then kissed her lips for the first time she came back.

Came back to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> done!  
> Hope you liked reading it!!  
> Comments and kudos are always welcomed!  
> I have a tumblr in case you wanna chat or smth. @sparkly-angell


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